Preparing

Remember, I was raised by wolves. So, when I was pregnant with Josh, I read everything I could get my hands on about infancy, childhood and parenting. I still do. But, I need to know more for the new baby.

Today, I went to the library and picked up three books related to transracial adoption. When I'm through these, I'll get more. And, I've found some fantastic blogs. I need to empower myself and my famiy. I will deal with prejudice and ignorance in a way that teaches and doesn't attack.

contact!

I spoke to the birthmother last night. She was warm and receptive and smart and confident. The conversation was a little awkward. This isn't a familiar social script. She seems sure of her decision. She placed another child for adoption last August. She's been through this before and knows this is her only responsible option.

Ommmm

The commitment paper is signed and sent. I'm going into this case with a totally different outlook. The blinders were ripped off my eyes and I'm questioning everything. I'm hypervigilant and untrusting. Of course, when I talk to the birthmother, I'll be sweet and understanding...

I need to stay positive. I know myself. I'll soften. Already, when I drop my guard for a second, I get so excited I dance around and laugh and dream of being with our new baby.

Here We Go Again

It's been a while. I was contacted by the agency this week with a new case. I don't have much information about the birthmother or the pre-natal medical records. Her obstetrician wrote "0 concerns at this point", on his report...That's pretty much all I have.

I've got to take this case on faith. The baby is due December 23rd. In Texas, the birthmother must wait 48 hours before she's allowed to sign the adoption papers. That would make the baby mine on Christmas Day.

It's a girl.