ready, set

We leave at an un-G-dly hour tomorrow morning. Josh and I are very excited. We're going to tour the Alamo, Sunday. He learned about it in school. Monday, its Seaworld. I printed out the map, feeding and show times. We'll be going nonstop for twelve hours. It's 90,000 degrees in San Antonio. I'm sure we'll spend most of the time in the water park.

Shrek and Donkey, off on a whirlwind adventure!

preparing for this meeting

It's hard to sleep. I'm having crazy dreams. I know it will be fine but I'm nervous. I want it to go smoothly, for my son's sake.

I think I'll bring some home pictures to show her and a little gift, some showery soapy stuff. I'm hoping she'll come meet us at the hotel suite for a little while and then we'll take her out for food.

My mom is afraid. She was there when I lost my baby girl years ago. The nurse thought I had a couple of more hours of labor; it was my mom who delivered my daughter. She was also the one who gave me a kidney when I needed it. She's seen me suffer and can't bear the possibility of another loss. I tell her I can handle it.

some relief today

A woman from the agency called to give me a new phone number for the birthmother. She's not using the other number anymore. I spoke to her and she's ready to meet us Sunday.

Thrilled and Anxious

We had a huge pool party/bbq this weekend. Almost all the people I love were there. They can't wait for this baby. We talked about what I'll need when I get home and who can babysit first. Their support and joy is overwhelming.

The birthmother hasn't been answering her phone. My son and I are heading out there Saturday. We'll be there for three days. I'm hoping to take her to dinner Sunday night. I wish she'd answer her phone.

Comments and questions

These are some of the things that have been said to me by actual people.

What is it?
Where are you getting it?
How much does she cost?
At least it's not from Africa.
So, it's a white baby, right?
Well, that's good you're ok with that.
She'll probably be pretty when she's older.

This baby hasn't even been born yet.

we'll find a cool pool...

I spoke with the birthmother again last night. She went to the hospital the other day with a sinus infection. They gave her meds and did some kind of 3D scan of the baby. They told her the baby is 6 lbs and she's still two months from her due date. Her children were all big babies. She said she's comfortable with our coming to visit.

the waiting

I haven't been able to contact the birthmother since that first conversation. I left a message. I want to go out there for a couple of days. The woman at the agency suggested I visit and also told me it's not uncommon to lose contact for days with the birthmother. She said "It can be frustrating"...

Josh wants to come. He's excited about the plane ride. It would be good to spend some one on one time with him. If this baby comes, our lives will be turned upside down for a while. I told him we'd do some sightseeing, stop by the agency and take the birthmother out to lunch or something. He hopes the hotel has a cool pool.