Yes, contact!

She was sleeping when I called Monday and working when I called Tuesday. I talked to her today. It was a little awkward at first but then it was as if the gates had opened. She told me all about her family, her children, her ex, the birthfather, her friends, her feelings. It was amazing. She's so open and smart and strong. She reminds me of me. We'll be talking a lot.

I'm thinking I'm going to fly out to see her at the end of July.

Contact?

For the past two nights, I've tried calling the birthmother a couple of times. There's been no answer. Maybe she's out. I don't know if it's a cell phone or a home phone. Maybe she's sleeping. I know she's exhausted with the pregnancy and life with three little ones. I'm trying not to jump to any conclusions. I could drive myself crazier.

it's on

This morning I called the agency and accepted the case. I'm thrilled and crazed and I don't know what to do with myself. They gave me the birthmother's phone number and said I could call her this evening. I'm really nervous. I don't want to sound nervous over the phone. I'm sure she is too. I know she is sad. I wish I could talk to her face to face and give her a hug and hold her hand through the rest of this. She has other children by a different father. Her youngest is not even a year old. I've seen a picture of her with them. They all look happy and loved. I cannot imagine how difficult this must be for her. She wants the best for this baby. I am in awe of this woman.

more on that...

There were a bunch of numbers and a short note. The sonogram was done late in the pregnancy. They are usually done at 20 weeks; this was done at 30. The note says the fetus is large for gestational age and there is concern of threatened labor. I ran over to my neighbor's and faxed it to my Ob-Gyn hoping she might still be in the office. While I was there I looked up threatened labor and found it to be a generic term meaning that for various reasons the baby may be delivered pre-term.

My cell phone rang while I was still at Stef's at 3:43. It was my doctor. She saw nothing alarming on the sonogram. The most concerning measurements are in the normal range. The threatened labor is probably related to the birthmother's stress. I do not know how to thank my doctor. I am committing to this adoption plan. We're expecting a baby girl in September.

the sonogram

I got a phone call from the woman at the agency at 1 o'clock yesterday telling me they received the sonogram records and would have them in my email file by the end of the day. I asked her if she read it, if she could tell me anything. She started rambling. I heard the words "very large", "---- says she's seen this before", "in all her years at the agency doesn't think it's a problem", "I'm not a doctor, so I really can't say", "you should take it to your doctor", "we need a commitment by Tuesday".

I was not reassured. I asked her to try to get me the sonogram as soon as she could because my doctor's office closes at 3. She said she would ask the person who sends them. At 3:00, I got the email.

the dreaded AFP test...

Between 15 and 17 weeks, a pregnant woman gets a blood test to screen for certain birth defects. The numbers thrown at you are mind-numbing. The test itself has at most 80% accuracy in its statistical results. The very limited medical records I received yesterday showed that my birthmother has a 1:200 chance of delivering a baby with Down's Syndrome. I stare at this number and my mind goes blank.

I took the whole thing over to my OB-GYN's office. She was not concerned with the number. She says there are many false positives in normal pregnancies and plenty of normal screens in abnormal pregnancies. She told me to get the sonogram records. The woman at the adoption agency who handles this was out with a family emergency. Lalalala.

It's been a week since I first heard from the adoption agency. I don't know any more than I knew then. My brain is leaking out of my ears. They're going to email me some medical info on the birthmother's pre-natal care any day now.