Tuesday, July 13, 2010

preparing for this meeting

It's hard to sleep. I'm having crazy dreams. I know it will be fine but I'm nervous. I want it to go smoothly, for my son's sake.

I think I'll bring some home pictures to show her and a little gift, some showery soapy stuff. I'm hoping she'll come meet us at the hotel suite for a little while and then we'll take her out for food.

My mom is afraid. She was there when I lost my baby girl years ago. The nurse thought I had a couple of more hours of labor; it was my mom who delivered my daughter. She was also the one who gave me a kidney when I needed it. She's seen me suffer and can't bear the possibility of another loss. I tell her I can handle it.